Showing posts with label Bullshit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bullshit. Show all posts

Sunday, 9 November 2014

Ghost Hunting - TAPS

Last night, lost for something to watch for 10 minutes, the wife and I put on one of those Ghost Hunting shaky camera bullshit programmes, some bunch of blokes called "TAPS" running around an old French fort somewhere or other.

Anyway, they kept saying they were seeing things, and kept saying they were hearing things, but they were never on camera, or the camera was shakier than a chronic masturbator in full swing.

But, one of the tests was just hilarious one fellow and a lass put a torch on a set of steps and they asked "any spirits present to flash the light if they are French"... and the light flashes... "Are you a soldier"... and the light flashes... "Did you serve here".. the light flashes...

They're saying they've just made contact with the dead, they've just proven life after death, or existence after death... They've just proven everything the owner of this site wanted to prove.  There's a shed load of other supposed detecting kit near the torch, but they say there's no jiggery pokery going on... Right... Okay... Lets say I believe you, you've dropped this into my viewing, and I believe you, you've just proven life after death!

And they completely ignore this test later on, when they come to review and hand over the evidence to the site owner, they have a shakey picture of a light supposedly dimming and brightening "as if someone is walking past the light" and they they have footage of "my t-shirt being touched from behind"... it looks just like he's moved his shoulder to me... All right, you've shown them that, now show them the proof of life after death!....


Nope, they don't show that footage again, they completely ignore it and it's been ignored by the summing up.... In fact the chap and lass who collected that footage, don't appear again in the whole show!


I find these kinds of shows so annoying, so.... pathetic and annoying.... Don't watch them folks, they're full of shit.

Friday, 25 July 2014

Michael Bay - Turtles

I'm a little bit tired of seeing Michael Bay films... And his next turn has been floated into the sewer of existence, this chap says it all better than me... Not east with the creepy fucking Turtle faces... WHAT THE FUCK... 



or this


This ain't fun looking, this ain't good... I'm not even going to watch the film based on this.. Well, crap....

This is how they should look:


Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Most Junior

I've mentioned some of the problems at work recently, and the changes, well how about this one... From feeling as though I was quite a senior position in one department, having moved to another I'm now considered the most junior...

Now, this maybe because of two things, either because I just moved - but I don't think so - people know I've been here years and am the most senior on the projects I work on - or I'm being considered the most junior because I'm the youngest.

Everyone else is over 40, I'm still in my mid-thirties.

I've dealt with this before, when I was 20-21 I was leading a team working for Courtaulds Textiles, instructing far older, technically more senior members of staff around Britan and abroad as to how to carry out projects under my remit.  This was a challenge, not least as I was so baby faced.  This role is in fact why I still to this day sport a beard, because I had to grow a beard to get some of the Morrocco based chaps to actually listen to me.

And now, 20 years into my programming career, I'm doing it again.

I'd not mind so much if one of the people considering themselves above me was not already spouting off about having a PhD, going on and on about learning programming as they've muddled along, and their going on about how "kids today rush programming with their tablets and scripts"... I don't own a tablet, I don't script, I'm thirty five I don't consider myself a kid... and unlike him I did a degree in pure programming, pure software engineering, he's so old computers were still mainframes when he went to Uni, he used punch card to code not a GUI.

Gah, frustrated.

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Work Stress Survival

Now then, the big reveal about what has been stressing me, I've survived my third round of redundancy threats... I've been at the place I work just over 10 years now, which is not to be sniffed at, however, I've survived one company folding into another, then that holding company selling its interests to a third firm, and then that third firm closing the products I work on.

Luckily for me a new position was created to take up the development tension in another department, but right now I've just moved my desk, sadly, from the old location I'd worked in with so many varied people... Dozens of people...

Drunken Irish men, work shy Cambridge tramps, Programmers from Macao who could not Program, a middle eastern gentleman whom spent all day on the company phone screaming in some unknown language and got fired soon after for embezzlement and this is not to mention the more normal mental cases one accrues in the technology field, the standard LARPers, MMO junkies, hackers, dweebs, geeks and nerds...

All those people, all those pointless, never finished, undelivered projects... And I sit here now, the ONLY one of them to have delivered any product in the last 2 years and I think myself lucky to have the new position.

So, the new location, the physicial one, has a new view, I can see most of the car park and a sliver of sky through my window view, this is only the second time I've had a window seat whilst I've been working since even before my graduation, so in nearly 16 years professional development I've spent far more of my time in the dark...

I've got the same desk and kit, just moved around, and I might move it around again by 90 degree's when a load of junk from the previous occupier is shifted.

So there you go, stressful, not least because the day I found out about the potential redundancy was the day after we'd signed for the new house.

Saturday, 21 December 2013

New Job Title

The Big Reveal "Software Engineer".

The big reveal for what's been stressing me at work... Redundancy, specifically the retirement of the system I had worked on for the last 8 years and the disposal of the department I've worked as part of for the last 10 years.

Now, working anywhere for 10 years is a big ask in this day and age, so to suddenly be told you're going is a big worry.

All the members of the department were basically redundant from the roles we were all in, however, one new role in a different department was to be created... So was there going to be a big race for this one new role?

The answer is no, I was the only applicant from the old department for the new role, and  early last week all the other members - all my old troubles - departed with their cheques, and today I got my new job title and indicated where I'll be moving to.

The only real rub is, for 10 years I've worked with a pair of headphones on, listening to music, my iPod or whatever, rather than the quite loud office ambience in here.  I mean I work in a gaming area, so there's squawks and chirps, whistling, shouting, swearing and banging all the time... But the new department no headphones.  Now I'm a big believer that headphones are a bigger pro than a con, I accept you can be isolated from talking to people - or rather not listen in on whatever they're up to, but as soon as someone engages with you you can whip them off and be there... But their main pro is that they afford a level of self, a level of separation, especially important for a developer concentrating on code.

I strongly believe in the results of studies proving music creates stable brain waves allowing concentration to improve, literally you are able to zone out your audio senses, which otherwise would have you jump or skit at any thump or bump.

Apart from that however, the new role consists of working on supporting lots of systems created over time, but also some new little bits and bobs which seem to be excellent.

This has, of course, been bothering me, and until Thursday last week I was still only getting between 2 and 4 hours sleep a night with worry.  However, I've since cleaned out all the junk left by my departed colleagues - thanks for leaving so much shit - and I've been set about new little challenges before Christmas.

Friday, 20 December 2013

Apple iPad v Laptop Drivel

Some of the things you over hear in the office, primarily from the technofeeble, today's gem...

"I'd never go back to a laptop, not since I've had my iPad, its primarily how fast the iPad is"

Really, what laptop did you have?

"An old thing"...

So I'm guessing 512MB of RAM, probably a crippled Celeron Processor and B class wireless... and it's slower than an iPad, no surprise there...

See this... (Reaches into bag)... This is my Core i7 3Ghz Laptop with 12Gb of DDR3 RAM a dedicated nVidia 470GTX graphics card with 2GB of DDR5 and N class wireless... It is a might quicker than your iPad, and wholly more useful, and also not being spied on by their highnesses at Apple.

It's not locked down, I can run Windows, Linux and OSX on this (yes I can in a virtual machine, and I do)... So, really... What does you iPad offer?...

Built in Obsolescence... Check.
Locked down features... Check.
£400 bill for a new one... Check.
No replaceable battery when it wears down... Check.

"But your laptop cost thousands" they retort with a triumphant air...

No, it cost just over £500 two years ago, so its a might less than that now, how much is that new iPad Air you're ordering... £399... really.... so I get all my added power, and usefulness and openness, for £100... sounds a cheap deal, see you on the flip-side, or is that Apple Flipboard?

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Blogger View Counts at Zero?

I noticed this on the 19th, all the view counts listed in the posts page of my blog show as zero.

My stats page shows hundreds, if not thousands of views, and other demographics, but the original old, working, view count per post is currently zero on every single post, even posts I know have multiple views...


I have no idea why, but the latest 100 posts on my blog all now have zero views… they had hundreds… now zero… and then the second 100 posts have stats as normal… then the third 100 are missing stats…. And then the remaining 187 all have stats…

100 without… 100 with… 100 without… 187 with….


And its not my viewing them in lots of 100, because if I switch to lots of 25, I get 4 pages… 4 x 25 being 100… all without stats… then 4 x 25 with stats… and 4 x 25 without again… the pattern is consistent, but these are posts which I know have been viewed, I can see comments on them, and people going to them on the other stats pages….

Something really odd is going on somewhere, and it's on their side.


------------


Addendum: Whilst writing this post, the stats have all returned to normal... something was going on.. something odd.

Saturday, 16 November 2013

CV's

I can't tell you why, least not right now, but I've just had to sit down and write up my CV.

I hate CV's... I help my mates do theirs from time to time, but I've been with my current employer over 9 years (it is in fact 10 years very soon) so I don't have call for a CV.

So the one I've just put together its kind of like a "this is me, ask me owt you want" kind of thing, I mean I'm midway through my 30's and been a professional programmer for nearing 14 years, so I guess what Comprehensive School I went to, and what GCSE's I got is pretty much pointless to stick on there.

As a consequence my CV is like two solid pages just recaps of my jobs, references and then a little introduction as to who I am written in the third person.

Now to hit the streets with it.  And one of the things I remember about the last time I went through a round of recruitment is that recruiters always - ALWAYS - change the contact information, this is of course to protect their revenue stream, they ask for their fee (which at one time was 10%) for finding the right candidate.  The trouble is, we're in a depression, things are hard, so I'd rather a potential new employer have my contact details, not use a recruiter and give me - or invest in my desktop equipment they give me - that fee.

I'm letting my CV circulate of its own will, but I will say this, I've just posted it off to a company I've been in awe of in Nottingham...

I have a funny feeling I went to an interview with these guys when they were based out at Sandiacre, but I was not told who they were, and I think I pretty much failed that interview because of my own lacklustre interest in what they were talking to me about back them.

But I'd suffer any amount of tribulations to get to interview again, not least just to talk to them and know who they are.

I mean, as a serious C++ fan boy, games are the performance item to look at for me.  More than the sedate world of the desktop, so I'd love to talk tech with them, but to work with them.... Droool.

Mind you, would I prove to be too much of a know it all bastard?...

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Google Goofs with Plus

I'm an avid YouTube watcher, I enjoy many topics, but the number of the subscriptions I have whom are mentioning the Google+ comments bullshit on YouTube... We have...

Jingles... "It sucks doesn't it"

Boogie (aka Francis)... "I tried to put up with this new Google+ bullshit"

Dave (aka EEVBlog)... "Hello McFly... Hello... I'm approving... It's retarded... It just doesn't work"


This debacle is just on going... I personally hate the system, they've removed functionality I enjoy, such as the addition of a time into the comment so you can link what you're saying to a specific moment, then it used to allow me to reply to a comment, right now I don't know how to address a comment to a specific recipient.

And then the "Real name" thing.. I've seen Hitler posting... And the big JC... Santa and fucking Gandalf... Like he's not busy enough... it's like What the fuck!?!!?

This is Google's biggest visible change ever, and its abigger flop than anything that they've had flop before.  I hate google+, I only use my google account for gmail and this blog, it happens they own YouTube so that's linked in there too, but I don't specifically use Google+... I like blogspot, and I like YouTube, and I used those services on their own merit.  The fact they're piggy backing Google+ on those more used, more popular interfaces says a lot, if Google+ was as all invasive and defined the social space then fine, but it doesn't, so to make it impact on YouTube is a pain in the back side, stupid.

And as that mad Aussie bloke says better... "this is just Evil".


Addendum, after writing this yesterday, Boogie has been back on camera, lets see him in action:



Another Addendum, I've made one reply to one message in the new system... Look what appears in my inbox linked to my YouTube account... This is new, it never did this shit before...


That's just an hour in my small inbox, on a small comment on one video, I usually post all over... And I went into my Video Manager area to look for my YouTube inbox... No, my YouTube inbox is gone, its sending messages out to my own personal e-mail... just swamping me in mails, I can't imagine how terrible this would be for a content maker.

And then I've spotted more issues with the new system itself... Like if someone has relied to a comment, you used to be able to click "Show Comment", so the new message could be linked back in a tree to the comment it was about, this is called a discussion, and its how we as humans converse...  Now however, you only get the name of the person you're replying to, and you click it and the site takes you to their profile page... Not to the comment... So the context which 90% of comments sit in has been lost, totally lost.

I'm beginning to really hate the new system, and I'm happy to see big contributors, like boogie standing up to this shit.

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

More World of Tank Cockbites

Tired of the morons, tired of the snide comments, tired of them all... Yes, this is a world of tanks rant, I know the internet is full of idiots, I know that there are horrid people, I know that there are fools and heroes, but the latter has been massively lacking in my last 48 hours of online play, and it has me so weary I'm tempted to just stop playing with them.

Last night I snapped, I was goading people back, and nailing them with my ability to type, spell and think... One chap was so speechless at the scenario of pain and suffering I thought up for him he simply gave up trying.

And my main problem?  The comments about what you're doing in the game... People install statistic mods and look at your stats and decide "you're a noob", or "you're shit" and that tars their game.  SideStrafe has brought up this exact phenomenon, and I think Quickybaby is a big exponent of actually doing just this, and people want to ape QuickyBaby more than it seems they want to be nice and friendly like SideStrafe.

But I'm not picking on SS or QB specifically here, each to their own, who I am going to pick on are the magnanimous pricks who having seen you do something they start calling you out, usually from the grave.... I had it all, idiots saying I was not a team player whilst being forces to scout and tank in a Stug III - and carrying the game for an easy clean up by a late starting KV1S.  Or changing strategy in a Tiger II (more about this in a moment) but getting an already dead idiot calling out my position to the enemy should "Kill the Tiger at B4"... He's calling me a Noob, but he seems to have failed to realise the map is the other way up for the opposing team, so I'm not in B4  from their perspective!

Another great one was on the new (at least to me) map Artic, I'm in my Cromwell and spotting, I get way out in front of everyone else, so take cover and sit NOT firing... This is key, I'm spotting, I light up an enemy Tiger, I light up a PZIII/IV, I light up the enemy Stuart trying to scout... But the Stuart also spots me, he's like 10 feet away, so he's going to... I fire at him, then start to relocate, get a track blown off by arty, so repair and get to more cover... But now I'm exposed... if the friendly forces who were behind me come up the hill, I'm not going to get surrounded, my right will be covered by them, and I can wait for my illumination to fade and pull back... But the friendly forces don't come up, they instead stop on the reverse slope hitting the tanks I lit up... I'm now a victim of my own success, because there are two columns of friendly tanks all shooting at the few targets I lit and allowing the rest of the enemy team to take positions... the result... I'm spotted again and blown up, its only a Cromwell, the armour is not fantastic, and I was unfortunately stationary waiting for my right to get secured and counting in my head to hope for my being spotted to fade... so no big deal, we take a slice out the enemy I lit and move up, hopefully we'll win... But then from the doldrums of chat comes the second biggest prick of the evening... "Ho you Cromwell, what you doing that there fore noob? Learn to play the game"....

Now, I have to point out at this point I called the guy out, because you know what except for the few tanks I lit up - NO OTHER TANKS GOT DESTROYED ON THE ENEMY TEAM - so, though I only shot at them, I lit them, I spotted and all my damage was spotting damage on them... the fact we lost was not my fault, it was the fault of hesitant players in the columns moving up, whom rather than looking at their mini-map stopped to shoot at targets others were better positioned to hit, effectively leaving me hung out to dry.

I could see this, I take SideStrafe's mantra of reviewing what I was doing, what went wrong, and what to do next time seriously, so I know what I did wrong... Looking at the team scores of this prick at the end, I wondered what he did wrong... seemed everything, with his zero damage and just 12 XP reward.

But his being such an arsehole peaked my interest, so I took a look at this noobmeter page... Irony of Irony, this self appointed expert on what the Cromwell (me) should have done, has never drive the damn thing... look.


That's his tank nationality spread, not only has he never played the Cromwell, he's never played ANY British tank, ever!

Now, I don't doubt he's played the 6000 games it says he has, I've played 2100.  But playing 6000 games and still being a vile little rat to people tells me he's either unemployed, unemployed and learning deficient, or a child.  Either way, he didn't impress me and I stand by my recommendation he get finger cancer so he can't masturbate any longer.... You know who you are, feel ashamed!

So, back to the biggest prick of the evening, who was he?  Well, straight after playing that Artic game in the Cromwell, I went to my Tiger II, a new tank for me, less than 20 games played.  I've still not got the best engine - and they're going to change all that around tonight with patch 8.8 so I'm in no rush to waste XP or credits - and when I spawned into the match I waited to see where the split was, four of the six heavies went to the city - with three TD's and four mediums went left with one TD, the other heavy sat in base.  I decided to see where the scouts went, they went left and died fast.  So, I trundle left to support the mediums, and I'm putting hits on T44's and T25/2's to give relief to the left flank, but this leaves me in the middle of the map, too slow to climb the hill and charge down it on the left side, and already part way down the centre.  The other enemy are moving both flanks - no-one is moving down the middle - So, with my position already pushed out in the centre I decide to take advantage, and I do down the middle - with an E-25 who was playing like a boss - we split the enemy team's fire, shooting up a JagdPanther in city from the side, chewing on the KV-3 and an IS-2 also in the city, as well as putting marking shots and lighting up the TD's on the ridge on the left allowing the mediums to kill them and advance to cap.

I pushed all the way up the centre as the E-25 pushed right to help in the city, and I lit up the last TD a Ferdinand, and their Arty - unfortunately I missed two shots here, the RNG just hated on me and they missed, but my third hit the Ferdinand hard making him turn towards me - and hence away from the advancing - lighter - medium tanks... I tank the Ferdi whilst the rest of the team mop up, and then the last TD of the enemy in the city retreats and of course has me in the ass - but that TD only pulled back because of the aforementioned prick saying "There's a Tiger in the middle", "Go kill the noob Tiger"... this prick had no inclination what I was up to, he had no spark of imagination that you could bifurcate the enemy line, he's clearly never read about Nelson splitting the enemy line at Trafalgar, or Guderian meeting columns of Shermans from the side.  No instead he sat there spewing god knows what in some Slavic language which only he and his platoon mate understood and when someone else - not even me - called him out on it he started to deride my efforts, calling me and my use of my tank stupid.  He was already dead, I finished the game with second to top experience, and second to top damage as well as the Spartan medal, master gunner and I was quite happy it was also a Victory, but it would not have been if those three mediums had had to face off with the Ferdinand, it'd have lit them for the arty and one shot all three in their turn as they crested the ridge.  The city would have been lost faster than it was, because the TD's pinning our heavies in the town would have had free range, instead of constantly being harassed from their flank!

The long and the short of it, I don't care if I've only 2000 odd games, I do know what I'm doing and if I don't - like on a new map - more often than not I tell the team so.

Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Energy Certificate Farce

Right, at the moment the wife and I have the house on the market.  As part of putting it on the market we have to get an Energy Efficiency Certificate.  So we paid up our doe and sat back waiting for the visit... No visit.

We chased this up, and finally got an appointment, only for it to get cancelled... So we called again, and then they started chasing us around asking for dates and times we could not make... Times when the average person is at work.

Today, in about an hour is the next appointment, but the guy turned up an hour early... He's sat outside right now... The reason for this... we have a house viewing in about 5 minutes time...

Not only is this an utter farse, but a pointless waste of his time, I've had to turn him away, because a house viewer is more important than some stupid certificate... And the guy is early, he called yesterday saying "I'm in the same postcode area, can I come by"... and it was just... "Erm, no we're both at work"...

The mind boggles, this must be the most inefficient exercise ever, all for an energy EFFICIENCY certificate.

Wednesday, 7 August 2013

Vine Review Items being Sold

Now I've been an Amazon Vine reviewer for over a year, and I've now got a house over-flowing with books and things, everything I get receives a thorough going over and always get an honest review.

One of the rules of receiving these free items is that one is not allowed to just skim them off of Amazon and sell them for a quick buck, now recently I received a book... I chose it as it had parallels with my Bachelors Degree Dissertation...

And I took a goof fortnight to read it, cover to cover, and posted my review, the book will now take a position on my Technical shelf and look very cool for any of my other IT literate friends coming by...

But that might not be the case with some others, for you see, I noted on the reviews of this book is a review... lets say by "Rodger"... its a throw away one paragraph review, clearly showing the chap never read the book, and had no interest in it, but instead took it from the list of items on the vine list because it was expensive.

And his reason... its listed on e-bay, under the username "Rodger"... for a price which screams - "I got this free from Vine"...

This has me so angry, the lazy, skimming, embezzler.  Its bad enough that the second the Vine mail arrives stuff I've love to try out/review is gone, but then to see this underhanded bullshit, it makes me want to scream.  How many of the pieces of IT hardware I've not had an ice cubes chance in Etna of getting were being skimmed off in this fashion?

I might start taking a look.


And here's the review on Amazon...


George Rodger, if you want to prove to me that's not your e-bay listing, please do so... You decide how, and I'll tell you whether I'm satisfied and hence I will apologise, until that time however, I say that's you listing that book and skimming off of Vine, against the rules - we've already had one update of the Vine rules stating we can't sell things, and a further update only a month ago reminding us we can't sell these things on for a cooling period of 12 months.

Oh and I notice looking at your reviews, lots of them are for technical items, they get a one paragraph throw away review... I can't help but think you need removing from the Vine programme.

Sunday, 21 July 2013

Parking Ticket

So, my wife threw me a good one, she got a parking ticket the other week, and assured me she had not seen the signs "the notice to pay elsewhere was way over on the ticket machine, and the notice was the same shade of pink as the ones saying the machines were out of order because of vandalism"..."so from that distance I assumed they were still vandalised as before".

I trusted this and I sent in the informal appeal....

Yeah, the chaps at the other end must have been pissing themselves at this explanation, because the wife was parked square in front of the machine, which clearly could be read even in the grainy black and white photo they sent back.

"I couldn't read it"... Get yours eyes tested love, cus even the fucking dog can read that fucking notice on this shitty 420x360 pixel image.

Friday, 19 July 2013

Noooooooooooo

I've had to wait a while to post this, its something which annoyed the shit out of me at the time, but there's nothing I can do about it...

My wife borrowed my old mobile phone, she was only going to use it for like a day... Did she just put her SIM in it and leave the phone alone?....

No, she set the fucking thing up with pink flowers and stupid ring tones, she basically started to treat the phone as hers...

This included her EMPTYING ALL THE TEXTS AND CONTACTS.... I lost pictures of my niece as a baby, I lost pictures of now deceased pets, I lost contacts whom were not migrated to my new phone but where historical.... I lost basically 2008-2011 in phone terms... and... and I'm really sad about it.

The wife, doesn't give a shit either.

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Chatting at Work

There is a department here at work, I'm not going to name them, but they're exclusively male and very bloke like and they look a bit scruffy, some are young, some are middle aged, all it seems are single or divorced or separated in some fashion, and it shows.

I have no bone to grind with them, save for one thing, whenever I go get a drink from the kitchen they're in there having a laughing communal chat.  They chat as a department in their work area, and they all spend all day talking about none work things, so why everyday do they congregate in the communal kitchen - choking it with bodies - and have a loud roustabout conversation?

It irks me that I feel like the interloper asking them to move from the fridge, or move from the coffee machine, or stop leaning on the water cooler.  But then they should not congregate in there, they should get their drinks and have a chat in their work area - oh no wait, they already do that, so I really don't get why they gravitate to the kitchen... 

Its really weird, and annoying... To Exemplify this I will now steal a picture from the internets...

How fucking annoying do that lot look, yeah, very.

Tuesday, 16 July 2013

This machine was working... Honest.

Its one thing to be told your software is not working, its a very different thing to trapse down to the machine, and after 5 minutes of trouble shooting realise the sticker saying "Checked 100%" is a lie and in actual fact the PC has no RAM installed....

Monday, 15 July 2013

Predictive Text Failure

We've all had that problem with predictive text getting the wrong prediction, however I have to say my Nokia C2 is utterly shite at it, not least because it totally lacks any statistical analysis of my textual habits to being commonly used items to the top of the list, and it steadfastly insists on giving out poor or uncommon suggestions for the most common words....

Just now I text'd the wife asking her to send me the "pimp list", do you know what a pimp list is?... "Shop"... Shop, not fucking pimp, how often does a person entering those characters mean to say "pimp"... Shop is far far and away more common!

How about this one... Coal.... Father in law has a coal fire, I text'd him asking him if he needed coal... the suggestion... Anal.... Not coal.. Anal, now I admit coal is less common a word than anal in texts - depending on your pass times that is... but then correcting it, the next fucking suggestion... Cock.... Anal Cock Coal.

So, if you're a gay ex-coal miner, Nokia got your back!

I mean, some phones I've had are acceptable, others are utterly fucking shite.

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Did She Learn Nothing from South Park

I'm not condoning the actions of that male teacher who took the 15 year old lass off to France, but I find it very telling the amount of cover male teachers in a position of trust screwing with their pupils gets, compared to the low key way stories like this are covered.


I do wonder if its because she's a woman, and we all know the lad was up for it, and she's kind of pretty:


But the parallels I can draw in how this case seems to have been handled and the satirical rip of it from Trey & Matt over at South Park speaks volumes.


Friday, 12 July 2013

John McAfee Winner...

I'm not sure how I missed this, but here it is, genius...


Tuesday, 9 July 2013

People of the Internet...

I would start this post with several tag lines...

"How every other player online is a douche"

comes to my mind... or perhaps...

"How every douche finds me in game"

... or, I could get more personal....

"The douches who I met in Pick Up Groups playing World of Tanks last night"....

Maybe that's too specific, because this post is not totally all about World of Tanks, but it most certainly is about the douches we all meet out there.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not always nice in games, I'm not perfect, I mean last night I shot a friendly and I was appologising, but then when someone else shot me I was raging, I'm not perfect and don't claim to be.

But, I do know what's going on, I can look around and when I suggest to someone they do something its usually for a good reason, so some of the reactions I've had last night have been interesting, and relate directly back to the same feel of how people have acted in other games - so this is definately not a World of Tanks phenomonon, its more about how people playing at home alone think they can be utter and total insulting bastards to the other people they're playing with.

And, they can be, no game company I've ever seen has dealt with this problem.

So, what is it that has been ryled?... Well it was a specific incident, playing a game, I secured one flank, sorted it out, crossed the whole map to help the otherside, got there, checked things out and it was obvious one guy needed to move, backwards, meaning the enemy he was in deadlock with would be forced to come out and get shot by the five of us backing this guy up.... Would the guy move back?... Nope... Would he say anything nope... Did he move?... Nope... What happened?... He died, leaving the rest of us to do tasks we really needed him to do.

His reaction?... To call me every name you can think of.  He started to snigger about my score, and historical score - I'll get back to that in another post - and he started to quote his personal military doctarin, which was basically "ADVANCE WITH MY HAIR ON FIRE", rather than listen to anyone else.  And after the game was over, the prick even thought it acceptable to start sending me insulting personal messages, to the point that I actually decided to add him to my ignore list - now I'm a pretty foul mouthed fucker, so to get your douche ass on my ignore list then you've got to have stepped over a line.

And what did this guy do to over step that line?  Was it call me names?  No not really, he did but you know sticks and stones... No what he did was he started to quote statistics at me from Noobmeter.com about my player profile.

Now, I left WoW when skill was ignored in favour of sum total values of armour/equipment and raids went all exclusive and shitty.  So to come across it in World Of Tanks annoyed me.

Not least because the prime game mode for everyone is to play in a Pick Up Group - and we all know Pick up Groups are like a bag of cats, you can't say what people can do, how they think, or even what language they speak.  And in World of Tanks as a near always solo player, I'm always in a Pug, so my average win/loss ratio is low.

Then add into the mix I'm back in the game after an 18 months hiatus - and grinding a whole new low-tier set of tanks - and in low tier you just explode in seconds so your "efficiency" and "k/d" ratio are all over the place, then quoting statistics back to me were pretty pointless, but any moron could see my profile was such and such a percent, in active over the last 3 months and only active in the last week, if you looked.

But this douche did not look, he did what any teenage douche does, he looks up the first stat he finds and beat it out on his keyboard over and over and over and over and over.

And I was like, you know screw this, I don't have to listen to this shit.

Tonight I'm going to dig that replay up, it was the last game I would stomach last night, and to save the cunt's blushes I'll turn off the interface and we'll see my heroic solo effort to hold the right flank, and then my moving across the whole map to help to help this douche, and then his spewing shit as I in my hugely inappropriate anti-tank mobile had to go do the job he in his heavy tank should have been doing all along - and I got blown up trying, because he had died minutes earlier.

And this was not the only douche I met, I had people pushing me out of cover, I had people running into me on purpose, I had people assuming I was foreign - because of my in game name - and taking the piss - at which my informing them I was British got glassy stares.  It was a shit night for me.




I know its poor form to come and update a post later, but I just read this and I thought, I wish the prick last night would be locked up for the comments he made to me... Would make my day... Oh, no, Wait... I live in a democracy, shit.