Wednesday, 11 September 2013

More World of Tank Cockbites

Tired of the morons, tired of the snide comments, tired of them all... Yes, this is a world of tanks rant, I know the internet is full of idiots, I know that there are horrid people, I know that there are fools and heroes, but the latter has been massively lacking in my last 48 hours of online play, and it has me so weary I'm tempted to just stop playing with them.

Last night I snapped, I was goading people back, and nailing them with my ability to type, spell and think... One chap was so speechless at the scenario of pain and suffering I thought up for him he simply gave up trying.

And my main problem?  The comments about what you're doing in the game... People install statistic mods and look at your stats and decide "you're a noob", or "you're shit" and that tars their game.  SideStrafe has brought up this exact phenomenon, and I think Quickybaby is a big exponent of actually doing just this, and people want to ape QuickyBaby more than it seems they want to be nice and friendly like SideStrafe.

But I'm not picking on SS or QB specifically here, each to their own, who I am going to pick on are the magnanimous pricks who having seen you do something they start calling you out, usually from the grave.... I had it all, idiots saying I was not a team player whilst being forces to scout and tank in a Stug III - and carrying the game for an easy clean up by a late starting KV1S.  Or changing strategy in a Tiger II (more about this in a moment) but getting an already dead idiot calling out my position to the enemy should "Kill the Tiger at B4"... He's calling me a Noob, but he seems to have failed to realise the map is the other way up for the opposing team, so I'm not in B4  from their perspective!

Another great one was on the new (at least to me) map Artic, I'm in my Cromwell and spotting, I get way out in front of everyone else, so take cover and sit NOT firing... This is key, I'm spotting, I light up an enemy Tiger, I light up a PZIII/IV, I light up the enemy Stuart trying to scout... But the Stuart also spots me, he's like 10 feet away, so he's going to... I fire at him, then start to relocate, get a track blown off by arty, so repair and get to more cover... But now I'm exposed... if the friendly forces who were behind me come up the hill, I'm not going to get surrounded, my right will be covered by them, and I can wait for my illumination to fade and pull back... But the friendly forces don't come up, they instead stop on the reverse slope hitting the tanks I lit up... I'm now a victim of my own success, because there are two columns of friendly tanks all shooting at the few targets I lit and allowing the rest of the enemy team to take positions... the result... I'm spotted again and blown up, its only a Cromwell, the armour is not fantastic, and I was unfortunately stationary waiting for my right to get secured and counting in my head to hope for my being spotted to fade... so no big deal, we take a slice out the enemy I lit and move up, hopefully we'll win... But then from the doldrums of chat comes the second biggest prick of the evening... "Ho you Cromwell, what you doing that there fore noob? Learn to play the game"....

Now, I have to point out at this point I called the guy out, because you know what except for the few tanks I lit up - NO OTHER TANKS GOT DESTROYED ON THE ENEMY TEAM - so, though I only shot at them, I lit them, I spotted and all my damage was spotting damage on them... the fact we lost was not my fault, it was the fault of hesitant players in the columns moving up, whom rather than looking at their mini-map stopped to shoot at targets others were better positioned to hit, effectively leaving me hung out to dry.

I could see this, I take SideStrafe's mantra of reviewing what I was doing, what went wrong, and what to do next time seriously, so I know what I did wrong... Looking at the team scores of this prick at the end, I wondered what he did wrong... seemed everything, with his zero damage and just 12 XP reward.

But his being such an arsehole peaked my interest, so I took a look at this noobmeter page... Irony of Irony, this self appointed expert on what the Cromwell (me) should have done, has never drive the damn thing... look.

That's his tank nationality spread, not only has he never played the Cromwell, he's never played ANY British tank, ever!

Now, I don't doubt he's played the 6000 games it says he has, I've played 2100.  But playing 6000 games and still being a vile little rat to people tells me he's either unemployed, unemployed and learning deficient, or a child.  Either way, he didn't impress me and I stand by my recommendation he get finger cancer so he can't masturbate any longer.... You know who you are, feel ashamed!

So, back to the biggest prick of the evening, who was he?  Well, straight after playing that Artic game in the Cromwell, I went to my Tiger II, a new tank for me, less than 20 games played.  I've still not got the best engine - and they're going to change all that around tonight with patch 8.8 so I'm in no rush to waste XP or credits - and when I spawned into the match I waited to see where the split was, four of the six heavies went to the city - with three TD's and four mediums went left with one TD, the other heavy sat in base.  I decided to see where the scouts went, they went left and died fast.  So, I trundle left to support the mediums, and I'm putting hits on T44's and T25/2's to give relief to the left flank, but this leaves me in the middle of the map, too slow to climb the hill and charge down it on the left side, and already part way down the centre.  The other enemy are moving both flanks - no-one is moving down the middle - So, with my position already pushed out in the centre I decide to take advantage, and I do down the middle - with an E-25 who was playing like a boss - we split the enemy team's fire, shooting up a JagdPanther in city from the side, chewing on the KV-3 and an IS-2 also in the city, as well as putting marking shots and lighting up the TD's on the ridge on the left allowing the mediums to kill them and advance to cap.

I pushed all the way up the centre as the E-25 pushed right to help in the city, and I lit up the last TD a Ferdinand, and their Arty - unfortunately I missed two shots here, the RNG just hated on me and they missed, but my third hit the Ferdinand hard making him turn towards me - and hence away from the advancing - lighter - medium tanks... I tank the Ferdi whilst the rest of the team mop up, and then the last TD of the enemy in the city retreats and of course has me in the ass - but that TD only pulled back because of the aforementioned prick saying "There's a Tiger in the middle", "Go kill the noob Tiger"... this prick had no inclination what I was up to, he had no spark of imagination that you could bifurcate the enemy line, he's clearly never read about Nelson splitting the enemy line at Trafalgar, or Guderian meeting columns of Shermans from the side.  No instead he sat there spewing god knows what in some Slavic language which only he and his platoon mate understood and when someone else - not even me - called him out on it he started to deride my efforts, calling me and my use of my tank stupid.  He was already dead, I finished the game with second to top experience, and second to top damage as well as the Spartan medal, master gunner and I was quite happy it was also a Victory, but it would not have been if those three mediums had had to face off with the Ferdinand, it'd have lit them for the arty and one shot all three in their turn as they crested the ridge.  The city would have been lost faster than it was, because the TD's pinning our heavies in the town would have had free range, instead of constantly being harassed from their flank!

The long and the short of it, I don't care if I've only 2000 odd games, I do know what I'm doing and if I don't - like on a new map - more often than not I tell the team so.

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