Story Time : The £220 Commute

Today; at least the today at the time of writing this, not when I publish it; has been a troublesome day.  I got up very early, the plan being to get petrol and then go to the pony...

(Ours are Gerty in the black center, and Magic on the right)

Anyway, this plan was interrupted after about 50 feet.. I reversed off the drive, pulled forward and opened the windows to air the car out... And I heard an ominous flapping....

Pulling over, immediately, I found that I had a nail in the rear passenger tyre...

Yup, that's the sucker...

And this tyre was flat... I have a spare!... but... but... Looking at the rear drivers side tyre... it's flat too.. I don't have a picture of this, as I didn't want to stand in the road to take it, I'm in the UK, remember, so you can figure out that the drivers side would have been in the road.

So here's another wider shot of my flat passenger side...

It's only 6:45am, plenty of time to get this fixed before I'm late to work...

So, I give up even looking to change the tyre, there's some air in them, get to the tyre place!

Shit, it doesn't open until 8:30am, so I had the highlight of my day, I left the car on their forecourt and went for breakfast.  A long walk, collecting no Pokémon I might add, later and I had black coffee and a croissant.. Oh la la.

Walking back however and they were opening up, and they happily helped to get my car on the ramps before they officially opened.

Two punctures?... Nope... Unrepairable, so two new tyres, SHIT!  I'm skint, proper skinty poos... Credit Card to the rescue.

But then... "There's another puncture here mate, looks like a different nail type"... And it was a very different nail type... It must looked something like this before it went in.

So a large outer disc, with a hollow shaft and a much smaller inner disc, which had been deformed into a sort of blob when it'd gone through the rubber wall of my tyre, what had then happened was the tip pierced the first disc took a 3mm diameter of rubber then the bigger head had formed a half decent seal on the outside, so I only had a very slow puncture.

Touching this outer disc with a screwdriver the chap changing the tyre got it to fly across the room impressively pinging off the concrete floor; we'll say nothing about the health and safety worries this might cause some of you reading at home.

Anyway, the result was a third new tyre... So what the hell, in for a penny, in for Two hundred Pounds, do all four!

So, four mid-range tyres and an alignment, I'm two hundred and twenty pounds down but by golly I'm back on the commute, and seeking my desk, not least because I need another coffee and a sit down.

Road Rage #1

To the woman driving the Black Audi TT out of the QMC, down Leen Gate, Nottingham at around 9:55 today... You're very lucky I don't have a dash cam, you're very lucky we met in traffic outside my place of employment and there is a decorum mandate for staff, you are very very lucky indeed, because I really felt like driving into you, dragging you out of your car by the roots of your silly greying blond scag wig and smashing your face in.

Lets, analyse why everyone, I turned into Leen gate following an RLMS lorry, as I work here I know RLMS would be pulling up on the left of the road soon enough, so waited behind it, a van passed, a car and then I peeked out, a red car was pulled up on the right of the road, way up level with the Bellfruit factory gates, and the road was then clear, so I pull out around the now parked lorry.

A black Audi TT appears at the hospital end of this row... It passed the Bellfruit factory gates, passed the pulled over red car, and as I'm now level with the rear of the RLMS lorry, this Audio is approaching the lorry itself.  It's no where near the lorry, there's a dozen meters between where the Audi is and where I am by this point,

I am mid manoeuvre around a parked vehicle,  I am already across the median and moving (checks highway code) yes, so the other car did not have right of way, I've already waited for other vehicles, so it is approaching a moving car, and should be aware of me, should give way, I'm already out into the movement, but the Audi is bearing down on me, "here we go" I think, it's a car make and type which seems to empower dick heads to drive like idiots, so I figure this is another... and as it's getting closer and closer I can see it's bonnet is not dipping, the Audi is not braking... and I could see the woman driving by now, see her demographic, and yes, she's a fucking hooray henry, a "I'm driving here" type, and I bet she's the type who can never be wrong, who can never be told, and thinks she's made it in life because she's been so forthright, I can see her now...

I'm now trying to turn left sharply to get back in front of the parked lorry, so I'm over steering to get in and out of her path of potential destruction, without slowing down she comes past me and pulled a face at me!

This stupid, pig eyed, wig clad pig of a woman pulls a face at me!

For her idiotic, in correct, highway code violating drive!

I really, honestly, felt true anger boil, I wanted to chase her down and break her false teeth all over her steering wheel, I wanted to chase around and smash into her, to drag her pathetic limp corpse down the road from my bumper, like some macabre bonnet trophy.

But, of course, this is reality and one can't do that, one can't even joke about it I guess (though I just have), so in stead I wish I had a dash cam, though in this case I'd need 360 degree coverage, and I'd have taken her plate, taken the stupid face she pulled and I'd have blown then up and pasted them all over the internet.

See how her employer, or employees, liked to see that; see how her Insurer would like to know how crap a driver she really is.  For my part, I'm fuming, but I'm done, madam you had the upper hand, driving around today you are anonymous, you can get away with being a dangerous idiot like this, you and your ilk driving like idiots however you've had your day, and once technology in cars to monitor and report such flagrant obtuse abusive and idiotic driving as yours is available, the better!

Road Rage - Company To Be Named

I'm going to put this out there, because it bugged me to all hell, I'm currently enquiring with several companies whom all shared similar names to find out who operated the vehicle in question, because, I was a victim of road rage.  Not once, but twice, to this moronic driver who in a company vehicle a) could not read the road markings and b) was utterly in the wrong, and then blocked the road to have a good shout at me.

So, what happened, well coming through Long Eaton and the main Nottingham road spans two traffic islands, both have two lanes approaching and then two lanes leaving, both lanes go straight on AND turn...

But on the second island so many people simply do not read the road markings they assume the right hand lane is straight on, and the left land just goes left.

THEY ARE WRONG, and even assuming this is incorrect as by default on islands the left lane is left & straight on whilst the right lane used to be right or straight on and you indicate appropriately...

Anyway, here we have two lanes, to two lanes to two lanes, it is very simple, after the second island in the chain traffic then merges... Lets look at what the highway code has to say about merging and Lane discipline...

Section 7 - 133

If you need to change lane, first use your mirrors and if necessary take a quick sideways glance to make sure you will not force another road user to change course or speed. When it is safe to do so, signal to indicate your intentions to other road users and when clear, move over.

Okay, so if YOU need to change lane... all this applies, did this guy who pissed me off need do this?... No, he was behind me... he was merging into my lane, I was on the left he was on the right, his lane ended and traffic was merging in turn.

Why merging in turn?.... Well the highway code says it...

Section 7 - 134

You should follow the signs and road markings and get into the lane as directed. In congested road conditions do not change lanes unnecessarily. Merging in turn is recommended but only if safe and appropriate when vehicles are travelling at a very low speed, e.g. when approaching road works or a road traffic incident. It is not recommended at high speed.

So it is recommended but only if safe and appropriate... Well it was safe, traffic was slow, a head of us everyone was merging into the left and all was flowing well....

However, then this moron comes down the right hand lane, and he wants to be in front of me, or perhaps he thinks we drive on the right in the UK and that everyone was merging with the right?... or just perhaps he was such a cock-bite that he believed the world revolves around him and his kid in the passenger seat and the traffic should flow around him?

Either way, he's neither indicating, nor merging, he's just beeping, flashing his lights and screaming at me.  I can see this in my right mirror, becuase unlike him I'm using my mirror.

Everyone was looking at this fool, and he beeps and he's causing the hazard but there's nowhere for this idiot to go, a head are pedestrians and cars in a chevron turning area going right down the next road.

So he's come down the right, pushed a head of everyone and then wants to just push in, and its suddenly me at fault, he's no indicating, he's not glanced left at the vehicle which was behind me... And he's ranting, so he gets my middle finger.

Yes, I'm sorry to say, I rose to the bait and he got my finger, but I'm so sick of cock-bites doing this...

And what wound me up more... This is a company liveried vehicle he's in, he's in a company vehicle, he's currently at that moment an ambassador for his company....

I've made this point to other companies before, if my staff were in vehicles with my company logo plastered all over them then I want a level of decorum from them, even if joe public was in his way he should bite his fucking tongue because he's not in his own vehicle he's in his bosses, he's representing the livelihood of not just himself but his co-workers and the whole supply chain around that company.

And to be frank, if this moron can't drive, I don't want him or his company doing business with me or any company I work for, and once I've made certain the identity of the company in question I will be blacklisting them based on this moron's instability and lack of humanity.

Not only for his clear anger issues and lack of skill behind the wheel, but because he was driving around in this company vehicle and ranting like this with a child in the passenger seat.

I don't know, it maybe perfectly acceptible to drive aroundin a company vehicle with your child, it maybe find for him to drive this vehicle on a Saturday on what looked like a personal errand, it maybe his company, who knows... But personally, I'm done.

I have the registration plate and I'll be updating this post as soon as I have any official reply from the three possible companies (as they all have similar names and livery colours).

But in the mean time, lets take a look at the road....

This is the approach into Long Eaton, from Nottingham, onto the first traffic island, as you can see two lanes, both straight on or turning left & right accordingly...

This is the gap between the islands, again two lanes and we can clearly see both are straight on lanes or turning alternatively...

We can see the lane delimitation even on the island, there are two lanes onto and off of this island.

And then the merging in turn happens here...

Looking from overhead, here is where this moron decided to start ranting and raving.

And once the traffic moved on, he then thought it approproate to stop once again at the turning to Bennett Street, where I was going, he pulled up along side me and continued to scream...

This is the reason he's going to be listed on here for all eternity and the world let know, because it's not acceptable, not in your own car certainly, but definiately not in a company car where you're representing the prestige of your employer... That company now has zero prestige, and I'm going to inform my family, friends and employer (who between them own five different businesses and my employer turns over several hundred billion euro's a year - and would possibly be interested in the type of business this moron works for) not to consider this company.

Black-listed, black-balled, moron'ed into obscurity because he was not an ambassador for his brand, he was wrong and instead of thinking "Hey, why is everyone looking at me?" no he thought it appropriate to scream not once, but twice at me, in front of his own child too.... zero work ethic, zero self awareness, just a zero in life!