I've told stories about women and dates, so now for something just simply funny... or Disgusting... I have a dog, well we have four now, but I used to just have the one a golden Lab named Dude... You can find a picture of him on these very blog pages...
Anyway, when I first met the wife Dude and I moved in with her, and my Mother got all uppity that the wife was not looking after Dude, and started to send him food parcels, like some refugee prisoner of war... Needless to say, Dude loves the wife more than he loves me, and so these care packages were not needed...
But, one day one of these packages turned up, and there were three pies... Cottage pies... The wife got these... But being my skatty brained wife she didn't read the note, she cooked two of them whilst I was at work, and she and Dude had a right royal meal, then I got home... And the wife put the third pie into cook.
Slathering, because I know how nice my mothers cottage pie was, I tucked in... To this slimey, greasy, strong smelling thing... It was disgusting... But I was so hungry I ate it... It was meaty, very meaty, and covered in gravey after all...
I kept saying to the wife, this does not taste like my mum's cottage pie, and she's saying "mine was lovely"...
Anyway, I get through and look at the pie dishes the wife took them out of... Mine was plastic... hers and Dudes were porcelain... that's strange sending the dog a pie in a porcelain bowl... Hang on... Mine was plastic...
A telephone call later.... and I'm sat there... I've eaten the cottage pie made of dog food...
Yes, my mother sent best minced beef for the wife and I, and one made of Aldi - Earls - dog food for Dude... The wife, just cooked two and never thought... Hmm, maybe the plastic one is different.
I've never quite gotten over this trauma, but suffice to say, Dave Lister is correct, dogs lick their balls to take away the taste of the food.
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