This story could also be called "Little Red Riding Hood on the Sofa, in the Mr Men ear rings".
In a previous post I talked about my worst ever date, well another time I got stood up... Yep, it happens to us all... The difference here is that in most cases we've been stood up and don't get the booty...
.......
However... In this case, I'd already had the booty... Let me explain...
A week before the fable stand up, it was a mutual friend's 21st Birthday, and he had a party... So we got together, and it was fancy dress... Now I'm not big on the fancy dress, I have no costumes, and I had been working 6am to 9pm most days, as a consequence my Fancy Dress is my Karate Gi and belt.
Off we run to this party, and there's this girl, she's come as Red Riding Hood... Oh yeah, now I drove everyone around and when we got out my car she gives me this big hug... Okay it was cold, but not that cold... And she's all over me, she's pretty, dark hair, dark eyes... Nice looking.
I'll be honest, I'm single, I'm enjoying the attention, after the time at this (strange) disco we head back to my friend's house and we're all friendly, this girl is still all over me...
It's getting late, we're talking 2am gone, and everyone is falling about passed out or sleeping, anyway, she's next to me on this sofa, cuddled up to me, and suddenly she's hands all over me, she's trying to get my junk out my trunk; I cope a feel, I get busy on there and soon things are going on on this sofa, with people passed out all around us... I don't know whether to take her to my car or what, but... come morning she kisses me and makes her way home.
I'm all smiles, and leave with her number handed over...
I give her a call, and arrange to meet her later the next weekend. And I call again mid-week just to you know keep in touch...
Saturday rolls around, I'm all pressed and dressed, I pull up at the arranged place, and I wait... And I wait... And I wait...
I figure, she's a girl, she was in fancy dress last time we met... Lets give her an hour... So I give her an hour...
Now this is before mobile phones, this is before the internet is a big thing, so to get hold of her I have to go find a street telephone box.
I call, her house mate answers, she comes on the phone... dead quiet... and I just quietly say... "You're not coming to meet me are you?"...
"No"... She squeeks.
"Right, okay, no problems babe"... I'm friendly, I just want to check before we slam the door on this, she was nice... "I'm guessing you want me to loose this number and never call again?"...
"Yes" She's a little angry...
"Right, well that's a shame, but okay, good bye"...
As I hang up I kind of hear half an ounce of confusion, which I can't be sure of, but to this day I'd like to think meant "hang on, this guy is kind of reasonable"... But what ever, shut down, home I go.
I get home, watch some TV, think nothing of it and get a hold of some other friends and arrange to go out to meet them the following week, one of them being the guy who had the 21st party... So I'm at least going to tell him about the escapades.
Next weekend, I head out meet these friends and immediately get a strange vibe, the guy seems dead smug, and the lass we're with is all giggling at me... I ask what the matter is...
"We know you got stood up"
But before I could reply, or tell them about the sofa banging, they both laugh... "We knew she was, she told us, she called us"... And then the guy says... "Besides, YOU can have your shot AFTER I've had mine"...
Now, let me explain this guy is a ginger, with a big lump in the middle of his forehead, he's fat and quite boring... I'm a heavy metal listening, heavy drinking, hard working good bodied black belt in karate... Go figure the chances he had.
But I sit back, all calm, and just look at them, inside I'm laughing, I had my shot, and I scored!... Have my sloppy seconds, I'm thinking...
The guy had, until this moment been my friend, but this day ended that because basically sitting there laughing at me when he knew she'd not come pissed me off... You don't do that to a friend, firstly you don't cock-block, if you want your chance have it, but if you've seen a girl garlanded around your buddies neck like this guy saw her around mine he should know to back off and wait... To sit and laugh is just a bit sick.
Then I just filed the guy away into the pile of douche bags in my minds eye.
Unfortunately about a year later, I had to file the lass who was there that day away into the same file, but for different reasons...
And it annoyed the shit out of me, this guy being all high and mightly... Proper childish... "I want my try with her", "I knew she wasn't coming"...
Dude I already had her, I banged her on YOUR sofa, at YOUR party, where YOU spent more time in the Kitchen than with your guests, and YOU took us to that strange disco... I had her.
I'm also fine with her not wanting to meet up again, but I have the strong susicion that this episode, the first and only time, I've ever been stood up was something of your concotion, that you talked to her and you said something about me behind my back... It's a shame you did that. Shame on you.
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