Friday, 7 November 2014

From Programmer to TV Repair man

The in-laws are currently calling me... Well they're not calling me, I'm hearing second or even third hand from the wife, or my niece, or from not so subtle hints... Their TV and Cable/Internet package is playing them up.

Now, I'm not a TV repair guy, I barely know how my own TV works beyond plugging it in and turning it on, there is no compiler inside a TV, I don't know what hardware is in them and I don't have any interest, so long as they come on and go off when I want, and I can change the channel I'm pretty happy.

So, why do the in-laws call me?... Because "I'm into that stuff"... I'm not, I hate TV, I hate all the shit you watch on it, I don't really want to ever watch the TV the wife and I sit down to watch, I do it so I avoid having to pay for a divorce!

But, I've become the goto repair guy, not because I'm overly skilled, but because I have logic and common sense... "No Signal?".... Plug in the wire which gives it a signal.... "It says no viewing card?"... Have you got the card inserted all the way?....  "It just won't come on?".... Is the plug fully inserted and switched on?

You know, the basics... I admit once, just once, in all the call outs, it was something I could fix, the father-in-law had been to look at porn, yes, porn, and he'd done this by googling porn and clicking away merrily, until the machine was dead... Yes he blue screen, FBI warning wiped it.  So I recovered their files and reinstalled windows fresh.  That was the only time I've been able to see what they did, and then I couldn't help but giggle to myself.

But as if as punishment, ever since I've had this tirade of requests for repair.

The latest one, well the latest one, I could throttle someone over, they went away on holiday and left a decorator painting their house, I know my father-in-law gives this guy a hard time, he basically picks on the fellow and they make demands of him like... "put our dustbin out on Wednesday"... The guy doesn't need this shit, so when it came to moving their tele forward and painting behind he, he clearly got his revenge by simply wrenching the wires out the back and dragging it... these wires were screw capped coaxial, so they sheered straight off.

Ever since, if you so much as breath on these two wires, the tele has no signal... The difficulty is my father-in-law is about as gentle with things as using cement for make-up foundation, he just stuffs and pushes and thinks the more pressure he applies the better.  He's also incredibly long sighted, so can't see the things in front of his nose.

All in all, this leaves me with near weekly call outs...


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